Book Review: "For the Love of Discipline: When the Gospel Meets Tantrums and Time-Outs" By Sara Wallace

From the opening pages of For the Love of Discipline: When the Gospel Meets Tantrums and Time-Outs by Sara Wallace, my little heart went pitter-patter. I loved this practical, God-glorifying book. I’m always on the lookout for books I can recommend to young moms—and this is one I will be urging them to read! Sara Wallace effectively guides moms through the essentials of parenting by reminding them of God’s long-term goals in the training of their children. She teaches, coaches, and encourages other moms to take up the mantle of “parent trainer,” so children will come to know our great God and desire to give Him glory.

Sara Wallace lays an important, and oh-so-encouraging biblical foundation in the first half of the book, as she presents God’s design for training kiddos. In the second half of the book, she provides practical wisdom for dealing with areas like structuring your day, dealing with children fighting, temper tantrums and more. Each chapter concisely hits the nail on the head and then concludes with questions for reflection. Busy moms will love each short, get-right-to-it chapter that contains biblical motivation and specific counsel.

Let me whet your appetite for this book by citing a few excerpts.

Chapter 1: The Game Plan: Let’s Get Ready

“Discipline is not something we do to our kids, but something we do for them.” Page 19.

“When it comes to discipline, God has not given us the option of whether to do it or not. Discipline is an inseparable part of godly parenting that we cannot choose to relinquish.” Page 20.

“Not only does this humble us, but it should inspire us to be diligent to discipline our kids every day. We represent God, and God does not sit down on the job.” Page 20.

Chapter 2: Why We Don’t “Punish” Our Kids

“We often function as though we have two options when our kids disobey: to punish or to ignore. Discipline does neither. It peels back the layers of sinful actions in order to deal with underlying causes and attitudes. …Discipline requires patience, wisdom, and love. The next time an offense is committed in your home, remember how your Father treats you when you sin. Address it head on, but seek the heart.” Page 31.

Chapter 3: Rewards and the Gospel

“As we reward our children for growing in good deeds, we want them to see that God gets the glory. Instead of the reward saying, ‘Yay; look what you did!’ it says, ‘Yay; look what God is doing in your heart!’”

Chapter 4: The Right Kind of Fear

“When we regularly and intentionally teach our kids to fear God, our discipline says, ‘There is a God who is worthy to be obeyed. Look at how beautiful and holy He is. We love Him, and we love His holiness.’” Page 41.

Chapter 5: Too Much or Too Little

“Sin is always a battle worth fighting.” Page 56.

“When we discipline them, we remind them how God feels about sin. We remind them that He is holy and deserves our obedience. It is only then that the grace of the gospel can truly shine. It’s a beautiful chain reaction: the holiness of God shows us our sin, which shows us our need of a Savior. When we don’t discipline, we take away the first link in the chain, and the need for a Savior disappears.” Page 57.

Chapter 7: Setting Our Expectations

“Requiring our kids to obey starts with requiring ourselves to do something about their disobedience. They don’t know any better. We do. If we don’t expect our kids to disobey, we will be caught off guard when it happens and will respond on one of two ways: either we will become angry and frustrated by their misbehavior or we will be oblivious to it.” Page 73.

And there’s so much more! I only shared some sections from the first part of the book. The practical, day to day counsel in the second half is equally helpful. The pages of my copy of this book are highlighted and hearted and folded over, so I can easily find my favorite sections. I expect yours will be too. Sara Wallace lovingly closes her book with these words of encouragement, “You don’t have to reinvent the wheel or blaze new trails. You can simply walk in the path of faithfulness that God has already laid out for you, trusting the results to Him (page 150).” Moms, buy this book and read it! You will be so glad you did when you see that peaceful fruit of righteousness growing in your children (Hebrews 12:11) as you follow God’s plan in your parenting.