Finding Blessing in the Unwanted and Unwelcome

Unmet Exectations. Yes, you read that right. There on the spine of my newly published book was that misspelling of “expectations.”

My heart sank.

I missed it, my editor missed it, and the rest of those working on the book missed that rather glaring error before the book was sent off to the printers.

But God had allowed it. God had given it. For me. For my good.

Generally, I’m quick to notice misspellings. Just not this time. I confess I wanted to cry.

As I sat there, staring at that error and working through this bit of unwanted and unwelcome unexpectedness, I realized there was only one path before me.

I needed to apply my own words.

After all, I’d written a whole book about giving God glory when life and circumstances take an unexpected turn. I was at the crossroads of decision and response—Would I trust the Lord’s goodness and wisdom? Or would I turn inward, focusing on myself, giving way to self-pity and pessimism? The second choice just didn’t seem like the best option, which left me with choosing to trust the Lord’s goodness and wisdom. But how to get there?

Responding to God’s Blessings

In those first moments after discovering the book title goof, I began by thanking the Lord for what He had given me. In my book in the chapter titled, “Snapshots of an Ungrateful Heart,” we look at King Hezekiah who gave no return to the Lord for the benefit he had received (2 Chronicles 32:25). Hezekiah’s pride and love of his own reputation got in the way of a grateful response to the Lord’s will for him. Hezekiah’s story is a cautionary tale that persuades my petulant heart to look for the Lord’s kindness in the unwanted and unwelcome unexpectedness of life. The Lord had given it and allowed it. I needed to thank Him for it since He intends good for me and glory for Himself through it.

Bottom-Line Thinking

Though able to respond to the Lord in faith, trusting His wisdom and goodness in this embarrassing little circumstance, I knew my heart needed more. Way more. I needed to go back to the basics for thinking rightly in the unexpected, which meant applying 4 truths from my handy-dandy “survival mode thinking backpack.” In my book I spend 4 chapters digging into these foundational ways of thinking, so after spending that much time developing these doctrinal supports, the shorthand version was enough to flood my mind and heart to help me move past my initial discouragement, chagrin, and consternation to a more hopeful, faith-filled, and trusting outlook.

Yet I knew it wasn’t enough for me to think rightly one time and then all my struggles would be over. Nope. Not by a long shot! I had to keep reviewing those truths whenever discouragement or tears threatened to dampen my hope in the Lord’s revealed will for me and my book. By reminding myself that “I’m a sinner and I’m not receiving what I deserve,” that “my trials are fewer than my sins,” and “if I am experiencing unmet expectations, it’s because God has deemed them good for me,” I was able to entrust the spelling error to Him, knowing “He will never disappoint me.”

Submitting to the Inevitable

Hearts are stubborn things, and faith falters far more easily than we’d like to admit, so I also added 1 Samuel 3:18 for my heart to consider. In 1 Samuel 3, the old priest Eli had just learned about God’s judgment upon him and his sons for their unfaithfulness in their priestly duties. To this dismaying news, Eli responds with remarkable humility and submission to God’s holy decree, saying, “It is the Lord; let Him do what seems good to Him” (1 Samuel 3:18). In those moments after discovering God’s will for me, the high and holy truths of 1 Samuel 3:18 bolstered my heart, encouraging me to respond with faith and trust in God’s perfect plan. It is the Lord; let Him do what seems good to Him.

But Wait, There’s More...

Amazon, and its generally smooth-running mercantile system, had a glitch somewhere in its automated system when it came to listing my book. When that finally got sorted out, another glitch popped up when it came to being able to buy it. What? It’s Amazon. This never happens. Except that it did—this time.

It could only be the Lord. Oh, let Him do what seems good to Him! Yet, even in my “right” response, my heart was fitful in it. In the words of Psalm 37, I was fretting.

In Psalm 37 David reminds himself of God’s sovereignty over all things, especially over those who were trying to do him harm. He counseled his heart to remember the shortness of life (verses 1-2) and that he needed to entrust himself to the Lord and continue doing what was right (verses 3-6). David recognized how easy it is to get flustered, angry, anxious, bitter, and controlling when the circumstances in our lives feel harmful and hurtful or even when life just doesn’t seem to be rolling out the way we want it to. He admonished his heart to, “rest in the LORD and wait patiently for Him,” to not fret even when others seemed to prosper (Psalm 37:7). David reminded himself—and us—that we are not to fret, because it only leads to further sin (Psalm 37:8). Oy. Further sin is right.

We’ve all seen little ones fidget and fight against wearing something a bit tight or confining. We become little fussy, fidgety ones when we mentally squirm, fume, and fight against a situation. A fretful spirit insists on being heard. It won’t stop with its insistent grating upon our thoughts until it is acknowledged. Oh, yes, David knew what he was saying when he counseled, “Cease from anger and forsake wrath; do not fret for it leads only to evildoing” (Psalm 37:8).

When disappointments, trials, and delays come, the temptation to fret is right at hand. At least it was for me in the delays with my book rollout. Instead of fretting, David counsels, trust in the Lord, do good, cultivate faithfulness (verse 3), delight in the Lord (verse 4), commit your way to the Lord, trust in Him, He will do it (verse 5), rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him (verse 7). David proclaims, “The law of his God is in his heart; His steps do not slip” (Psalm 37:31).

I think this is the secret behind Mary’s humble and submissive response to God’s unfolding will for her life. She was able to respond to the angel’s surprising news that she would bear the Messiah with these words in Luke 1:38, “Behold, the bondslave of the Lord; may it be done to me according to your word.” She embraced God’s unexpected and difficult plan for her life. Her steps didn’t slip because God’s Word was in her heart (Psalm 37:31).

My friend, Kris Goertzen, has hidden God’s Word in her heart since she was a little girl, and it upholds her as she lives with an aggressive form of ALS. She has responded just like Mary to God’s unexpected and uncomfortable will for her life. “Behold, I am your servant, Lord. May it be done to me according to Your word.” Within the twists and turns of Kris’ life, she has maintained a constant joyous submission to the difficult, unwelcome, and unlooked for events in her life. Why? Because God, in His love, wisdom, and care for her, has given it to her. And He can be trusted to do what is best.

There it is—He can be trusted to do what is best. In the big things like ALS or the small things like misspelled book titles, we can learn to respond in humility to the Lord’s unfolding will for us. He allows it. He plans it. In love, wisdom, and power. For our good. For His ultimate glory.

Learning to Love the Unexpected, Unwelcome, Unwanted Events in Life

So for those of you who wondered if you should tell me about the misspelling, it’s okay…I know about it. Thank you for being gently embarrassed for me. I noticed your kindness, ladies! But really, it’s okay if we talk about it because I am so blessed by it!

My book will go through a second printing soon and that precious misspelled title will be removed. In some ways, I’m a bit sad about it because I’ve grown to love the visual reminder that God uses “unmet exectations” to draw us to Himself in the unexpected, unwelcome, and unwanted events in life. If you happen to have one of the first edition copies of my book, I hope you too will view that misspelled title on the book’s spine as a picture that God’s ways are not our ways. May it remind you His ways are so much better, wiser, and higher!

The fretting friction of our daily life,

heart-weariness with loving patience borne,

the meek endurance of the inward strife,

the painful crown of thorn,

prepare the heart for God’s own dwelling place,

adorn with sacred loveliness His shrine,

and brighten every inconspicuous grace,

for God alone to shine.

Mary Atkinson